Our first stop, Fisherman's Wharf, natch - towards which we travel via ye olde rickety and gravity-defying cable car.
The creaky squeaky and altogether eeky sounds this carriage makes on its way up and down are hardly reassuring of its roadworthiness save for the counterpoint of the constant ring-a-ding-ding which makes it sound like an ageing roue always ready for the last dance of the night.
Nevertheless it manages to transport us to the Wharf where we get the best view of the Golden Gate Bridge we'll get on this trip.
At first, George is indignant that we're not prepared to go that extra mile towards such a significant landmark - until we show him the dangers of travelling the high seas.
As befitting its name, the Wharf has much to offer in the way of seafood..
as well as food resembling seafood..
Although it's not always a good idea to resemble any kind of food...
And speaking of stuff that bears some semblance of food, Gem decides that this is the perfect time to try one of them Hostess Twinkies she'd heard so much about...
This turns out to be a once in a lifetime experience. As in: just the once, dear Lord, never again.
But the real food experience of the day is the clam chowder at Boudin's served in a sourdough bread bowl...
for which George is prepared to forgive us for all the silliness we've put him through.
Done with the Wharf, we stroll down through North Beach toward Chinatown, which looks pretty much like every Chinatown we've come across so far with its bazaars of cheap trinkets and toys that make farty noises when prodded in the right place.
We would have spent a lot less time there except George had some catching up to do with his kinfolk..
The only way we could coax him away was the promise of Hog Island oysters and beer at the Emarcadero, which, let's face it, would probably coax Gollum himself from anything round, shiny and precious.
Later that evening, Jeff and May introduce us to Mayan cuisine at Poc Chuc , a terrific little restaraunt that shows no sign of going out of business in two years' time.
The next day kicks off with a hearty start at Mel's Diner just down the road from May & Jeff's where a Yuppie Joe's Breakfast provides us with the "oeufness" we need to see us thru the day.
Then it's off to the Cartoon Art Museum - where my geeky needs are catered for within a small but perfectly formed gallery of cool comic art throughout the ages, including an entire section devoted to Batman through the ages. (no photies allowed, sadly)
Of course, no trip to SF would be complete without checking out Haight-Ashbury, the onetime domain of groovy vibes and far out hippieness - even if the famed corner is now home to a Ben & Jerry's ice cream parlour.
Sadly, this was the closest either one of us came to getting fried..
At the end of Haight St lies Golden Gate Park - a massive sprawling patch of greenery where most of SF's boho hoboes hang out. It really is the friendliest place in town where the locals affectionately call visitors like us "buds" or "nuggets". We must come back here sometime...
On the way back home, we visit one of the hallowed shrines of Sitcomdom - the Full House park AKA Alamo Park where we run around for a bit singing "Whatever happened to predictability..."
All in all - mission accomplished.
Thank you, San Francisco, you've been so kind to us. (especially May, Jeff and Niki & family.)
Next stop: WA - but not the one with the falling golfballs.
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